'I live with a furry dictator': A Hissterical List of Chaotic Cat Crimes and Unhinged Kitty Behavior

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Dec 10, 2025 5:00 PM EST

Our cats do some bizarre things. If we had a dollar for every weird, unhinged, chaotic, and crazy unexplainable things our cats did then every cat pawrent would be rich. From zoomies, to running up the walls (literally), to being calm one minute and suddenly poofing their bodies, giving crazy eye, and darting into the other room, our cats continue to give us endless entertainment. The face alone is hissterical. Does your cat ever make growling sounds like it's possessed and about to have an exorcism? Or does your cat try to eat any human food you put out? And we mean any – from bread, to dried lentils, some cats are crazy enough to eat things that they can barely digest. 

Or what about when they want to knock everything off the table, and before you know it all of your chap stick has mysteriously disappeared under the couch. Cats can also be manipulative!  The purring, the slow blinks, the little head bumps that feel like spiritual blessings. Cats deploy these tactics strategically—usually right after knocking over a plant or sending a cup flying—to avoid prosecution. These manipulative purr-machines know exactly what they're doing, and they always get away with it.

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  • 01

    What’s the most unhinged thing your cat does?

    "He's unhinged!"
    via Akchamczuk / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    What is the most unhinged, chaotic, "I live with a furry dictator" thing your cat does?
    via u/NoIdeaWhatIAmDoing88
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    Mine once stared at a corner for 6 full minutes, hissed at the wall, and then demanded dinner like nothing happened.
    via u/NoIdeaWhatIAmDoing88
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    Drop your cat's crimes below
    via u/NoIdeaWhatIAmDoing88
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    Scrooch Down Our cat will climb over anything on the counter to get at and lick bananas. Like,
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    he's so into it I can hear this weird rasping sound from another room with a fan on.
    via u/ScroochDown
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    I've lost count of the number of times I've yelled "HERBIE, STOP LICKING THE
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    BANANAS." We have to hide them on a shelf that he can't get to in order to keep him from J them.
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    Bonus: he hates peeled bananas. Makes the worst face if you offer him one to
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    smell after you've taken a bite. He's unhinged.
    via u/ScroochDown
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    Kcarp6380 He "nurses" off the jets in the bathtub. He has since he was a little baby. There is literally nothing there.
    via u/Kcarp6380
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    zillabirdblue He licks the same spot on my boyfriend's leg every night when we get in bed
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    and now there's always a bald spot above his ankle. Weirdest little ritual ever.
    via u/zillabirdblue
  • 14
    Justmakethemoney One of mine makes himself poofy for no reason whatsoever. A shoe exists in
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    a place where it has always existed? Poofy. Butt scratches? Poofy. I say his name? Poofy. I walk into a
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    room and he damn well knows im coming? Poofy.
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    At least once a day I'm asking him "Why are you poofy?" 50% of the time the
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    poof is accompaied by him skittering across our wood floors.
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    And he hates anyone that comes to the door. Poofy and growls.
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    MangoSalsa89 She hates getting any kind of medicine. Trying to give her eye drops was a disaster.
    via u/MangoSalsa89
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    At one point she made me show her my hands were empty before I was allowed to pet her. I felt like she was my CO.
    via u/MangoSalsa89

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